Cricket Dec 07, 2025

The Ashes: England's 'pathetic Poms' savaged by Australian media after two-day pummelling in first Test at Perth

👤
By Admin
Sports Journalist
The Ashes: England's 'pathetic Poms' savaged by Australian media after two-day pummelling in first Test at Perth

As Travis Head was spanking Australia to victory in a remarkable two-day Ashes Test in Perth, England knew what was coming.

Not only would they be 1-0 down in the five-match series but they would also be destroyed by the home media after throwing away a position of strength with a raft of injudicious shots.

Yep, Bazball was about to get battered.

It was no surprise, then, that the West Australian group, which had called Ben Stokes "cocky", Joe Root "average" and England's approach "careless thrash batting" before a ball had been bowled, hammered the tourists' Optus Stadium horror show.

The Sunday Times, previously the West Australian Sunday Times, said on its front page that Head's 'Travball' had "turned the tables on the pathetic Poms", with its back page stating that England had been "Pommelled" and "Bazballl flipped on its head".

The Australian, meanwhile, said "Travball murders Bazball".

Elsewhere, Daniel Brettig in The Age said England batted like "lemmings" by driving on the up in their second innings, with Ollie Pope, Harry Brook and Joe Root all dismissed in that fashion as three wickets fell for no runs in six deliveries amid a collapse of 6-39.

Bretting called England's batting "vibe-based" and added that Bazball "should share equal billing with Slow Horses for the most entertaining limited series to come out of the UK" in years. Ouch!

Plus, as cricket.com.au remarked that the tourists had gone from "Bazball-brilliant" on day one as their ferocious pace attack ripped through Australia to "boiled lollies" 24 hours later en route to a "humiliating defeat", with Head's Travball "pricking their pride".

The UK media also got their flamethrowers out, mind you, with headlines in The Telegraph calling England "gutless" and "self-destructive" and saying their batting was an "affront to Test cricket". The phrase "feeble surrender" was used by The Mail.

The Mail's Lawrence Booth suggested Zak Crawley, who bagged the ninth pair by an England opener and first since SportNews' Michael Atherton in 1999, should "have no more than one Test to save his career", adding "many believe he's lucky to have got this far".

Crawley was twice out driving Mitchell Starc in the first over.

We'll leave the final say to Sir Geoffrey Boycott, never a man to mince his words, with the former England batter writing in The Telegraph that he "cannot take this team seriously" as they "keep throwing away Test matches by doing the same stupid things".

"They never learn because they never listen to anyone outside their own bubble, because they truly believe their own publicity," added an angry Boycott.

The swiftness of the game in Perth means England now have almost two weeks before they next face Australia in the day-night second Test in Brisbane from December 4.

They can probably expect further media maulings in that time.

All times UK and Ireland

Tags:

cricket news id:13474345

Share this article

Related Posts

The Ashes: Ben Stokes promises to be 'ruthless' in response to England's 4-1 series drubbing in Australia

The Ashes: Ben Stokes promises to be 'ruthless' in response to England's 4-1 series drubbing in Australia

Ben Stokes said he's not afraid to show his "ruthless" side as he looks to lead England's recovery from their 4-1 Ashes drubbing to Australia, adding...

The Ashes: Australia win series 4-1 after earning nervy five-wicket win over England on final day in Sydney

The Ashes: Australia win series 4-1 after earning nervy five-wicket win over England on final day in Sydney

Australia squeaked home to a five-wicket victory over England in the fifth Ashes Test after a nervy final day in Sydney, the hosts' dominance over the...

The Ashes: Jacob Bethell hailed as 'future of England cricket' after delivering on supreme talent with first Test century

The Ashes: Jacob Bethell hailed as 'future of England cricket' after delivering on supreme talent with first Test century

Jacob Bethell evoked memories of David Gower with his stylish, yet composed, maiden Test century at No 3 for England in the fifth Ashes Test in Sydney...

The Ashes: Steve Smith hurts England with a 13th Ashes hundred in Sydney to add further to his legend

The Ashes: Steve Smith hurts England with a 13th Ashes hundred in Sydney to add further to his legend

"He has hurt England so often," Your Site' Michael Atherton said after Steve Smith's latest Ashes century, his 13th.And England fans may have to steel...

The Ashes: Joe Root would 'love to' make next tour of Australia at age 39 as Sydney ton hailed 'one of his best'

The Ashes: Joe Root would 'love to' make next tour of Australia at age 39 as Sydney ton hailed 'one of his best'

Your Site' Michael Atherton hailed Joe Root's 41st Test century as "one of his very best innings", but could the 35-year-old keep going for another fo...

The Ashes: England's Jamie Smith blasted after 'one of worst dismissals ever seen' against Australia at SCG

The Ashes: England's Jamie Smith blasted after 'one of worst dismissals ever seen' against Australia at SCG

We have a new winner of England's worst dismissal of this Ashes series.The culprit was Jamie Smith, who ended a skittish innings of 46 on day two at t...